Well, found this post that I forgot to post!!! HaHa!! This was written back in February!
It's been awhile since my last post. Waiting on something funny or exiting to happen in our lives to write about and all the while, life just keeps ticking away. Here we are, half way through February, 2019, and I just have life to share. This year, Ray started off his January by having an old football injury from Baylor repaired. His ankle bone had turned to mush, and he had that cleaned out and replaced with cadaver bone, which will hopefully give him a stronger ankle than he has had for almost 30 years. For several weeks, I was his hands and feet, as he was in alot of pain and unable to do anything. After he recovered at home for the first week, WE returned to work, as he needed help opening, closing doors, carrying things, and just general cheerleading and support for the next week. After 2 weeks, I returned back to my normal job, home maker, and guess what, Josh came down with the FLU!! Glory, another week of being nurse and staying home. I am grateful I was able to be here with my crew, and thankful that my life if full of appointments that can be cancelled without major consequence. I am not complaining, it is just factual that it has been a few weeks of service and nursing. Well, here I am again, with Anna home with the FLU!! I should have just let them all cough down each others throats, like I used to when they were little, and have them sick all at the same time instead of dragging it out!! Anyway, more time at home to think, pray, and just be.
Through this process, I have had some moments where I was really proud of myself. What a servant I am!! Not complaining, joyfully taking care of everyone else's needs, cleaning, laundry, cooking, and all while others, who were healthy, in the household continued with their normal lives. I felt like I deserved some gratitude, which I did receive on and off throughout this last month. But I was really feelin' like I was amazing, and humbly happy to serve. UNTIL.......... there was a few moments that I was treated in less than a kind way by some of these family members that I had been bending over backwards to serve.
Seriously!!! I couldn't believe it!! After all I had done for them, and I get treated like THIS!! Unbelievable!!! After one specific incidence, I went out to the car, only place to be alone in this house, got in and closed the door. I began to cry, and pour my heart out before the Lord, "Lord, I can't believe after all I have done, and how kind and sweet I have been, and how serving I have been, that they would treat me like crap!! How can you let this happen? I don't deserve this!!"
"I DON'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS!!" I yelled.
I felt the Lord say, "Neither did I. And JJ, I really didn't deserve it, you actually have done some things before that might warrant this, but not me. And is the servant greater than the Master?"
"No Lord, so I must go back in there, take it, and trust that this is taking up my cross, suffering with Christ, and humble myself before You and as unto You, and You will lift me up?"
"Yes, my dear child, trust Me."
I went back in, with a peace that God would reveal to the offenders their offense, and that MY offense was my pride!! I was just as guilty as they were. Shoot!! Just when we think we have it all together.
God did restore, and convict where needed, and apologizes, forgiveness, and reconciliation happened. But this was just the beginning for what God was wanting to show me. I have been studying David in Bible study, and 2 things have really stood out to me recently. One is that David was so humble.
When David finally received the Davidic Covenant from God, and was promised all these wonderful things, kingdom, house, throne, how did he respond? "Who am I, Lord" He was so humble! Now this is the guy that had been anointed 20 years ago to be king. This is the guy that slayed Goliath, this is the guy that they had sung, "Saul killed his thousands, but David killed his 10,000s!!" Everyone knew and loved David in Israel, and yet David was humble!! Who am I?
When I went out to the car and was lamenting to the Lord over my heart ache, hurt, and wounded-ness, I was saying to the Lord, "Do you know who I AM?? NOT, Who am I?! How can You let this happen to ME? I don't deserve this, I am someone special!!" Wow!! My response and prayer to the Lord is so convicting. It is a miracle and by the grace of God that He even does one more good thing in my life from this point on, and I am to be eternally and humbly grateful for His goodness and mercy in my life.
The second thing that stood out to me from David in this specific passage of scripture, was that when David prayed back to the Lord after God had spoken the Davidic Covenant to him, that He prayed the very things God had just promised him right before. He prayed God's promises BACK to Him. Now I KNOW we are to pray God's word back to Him, but I feel like I have been lazy in doing this, and just praying my own pitiful words. I was inspired, convicted, and reminded to pray God's promises daily in my prayer life. Remind Him of what He has said and stand confidently on His word. To do this, I must be IN the word, meditating on it, and knowing it. What a good reminder for me. God is faithful to His promises. God is faithful to me. Always.
JJ
Showing posts with label Fighting the enemy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fighting the enemy. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
Saturday, May 19, 2018
How our son's wedding weekend ended up in the ICU.
Glory to God, He is faithful!! I am so thankful my husband is alive! That was my Mother's Day gift!!
What a wonderful time to celebrate our son and his bride as they made a covenant before the Lord to remain faithful to one another until the Lord takes them home. (I included some pics below!!) How much joy and yet what a whirlwind we ended up having as life started spinning out of control!!
As usual, the weeks leading up to a wedding get a little crazy!! I felt like Queen Esther from the Bible, with all the preparations I was doing just to get myself ready for the big day!! Along with that, the rehearsal dinner prep, decorations, center pieces, meal plan and making of the deserts was also on my list of things to do. Making sure my guys had the right size tuxes, girls had their dresses, shoes, and grooming supplies, etc., etc.!! Those that have been a part of the planning process of a wedding with a big family know what I am talking about!!
Anyway, on Wednesday of the week leading up to the wedding, Ray came in not feeling well that night! He had been stung by some bees on Wednesday morning, so he thought he might just be having a reaction. He medicated himself and went to bed early that night. I wasn't too worried about it and honestly I was more concerned with packing the car and making sure we were ready to go to Texas the next day without forgetting anything we needed!
On Thursday we began to make our trek down to the Ranch for wedding weekend. I left with the first car full of supplies and kids, so I could get down there and unload and be ready to start setting up Friday morning for the dinner. Ray came in the second wave, waiting on our college daughter, Ruth, to get out of her last day of classes for the semester. They came in late that night, and didn't get to the Ranch until 2:30am! That whole day Thursday, unbeknownst to me, Ray had been treating himself for fever and was taking an antibiotic incase this was some type of infection he had picked up from the bees.
Friday morning we woke up ready to get to work making the flower arrangements and center pieces for the tables. It was raining, so I assured Ray he could rest, since there was nothing for him to do until the rain stopped and we went down to do final setup late that afternoon. I thought he was just tired from the late night of travel. He told me later he was still treating himself for fever and if he didn't snap out of this, he would change to another antibiotic the next morning.
The dinner was wonderful and we had a sweet time of fellowship and celebration of Jesse and Hannah. Ray did an amazing job of leading the dinner and sharing from his heart.
I thought Ray was all better, but that night when we finally went to bed, his fever came back up and he fought it throughout night, really not resting much.
Also, after the dinner that night, we were driving back to one of the houses on the ranch to pick something up and Ray missed the turn, so he slammed on the brakes on my car. The brakes seemed to lock up, or at least added a drag to the car from that point on, and wouldn't un-stick. Oh well, we had to drive to the venue the next morning (which was over 2 hours away), and needed both cars, so we didn't have time to mess with it at the moment!! Ray said it might ruin my car, but honestly, what could I do? I didn't' feel like I had a choice, my son only gets married once! So Ray said he would stop on the way to the venue to get stuff to fix the car the next day while we were all getting ready!
In the middle of the night, while we were supposed to be sleeping (Ray wasn't because of fever) we got a phone call at 2:30 in the morning, informing us that one of our dogs got out and had been hit back up in Stillwater. He was alive but not doing that great! Since we were 4 hours away, there wasn't much we could do, so we instructed our friends to put him at the house, and if he was alive the next morning, to take him to the vet. We would deal with this on Sunday when we got home!!
Saturday morning came, and we were all in a bustle trying to get all our stuff together and head to the venue in Van Alstyne!! Ray was miserable, and had already called in more medicine. I was a little stressed because we were all supposed to be at the venue by 11 for a walk through rehearsal. Ray said he had to pick up the meds AND the parts for the car first, and then he would be there.
All the rest of us headed out, and he was going to be following behind us. We all made it, but Ray called and said he was feeling so bad, he was going straight to the hotel instead, to lay down.
After the walk through, we headed to the hotel to start doing hair, makeup, and dresses.
Ray was resting when we arrived, but I left, and when I got back from my hair appointment, Ray was gone. The girls said he was stepping out for a minute. I went out and looked for him, thinking he might have felt like working on the car after his nap, but he was no where to be found. We all finished getting dressed and it was time to go, but no Ray! I texted him, but no response. About that time, in he walks, or rather, drags into our room, shaking and miserable. I asked where he had been, and he said he had been laying on the parking lot trying to get warm, the asphalt felt good to him!! What?! Well, it was time for us to leave to be there early to welcome guests and be there before the wedding started, but Ray said for us to just go on without him. No, I couldn't just leave Ray and I felt like he needed my help, hopefully to get dressed and go, at least to the ceremony, of our son's wedding! I sent the girls on with my mom, and I helped Ray shower, dress, and he took 1000 ml of Motrin to try and bring the fever down.
I got him in the car, and drove like a bat out of hell to get to the wedding before it started!! We came barreling in to the parking lot 10 minutes before start time! On the drive there, his fever seemed to break a little, which gave him some relief. God, I know, gave him the strength to sit through and enjoy the wedding ceremony, and the first hour and an half of the reception.
We even had a dance, but then he began to crash.
My brother-in-law volunteered to take him back to the hotel so I could stay and visit with all our guests. But when we all got back to the room that night, Ray was shaking, wearing all his clothes, wrapped in blankets and moaning. That was our night all night Saturday night and early into Sunday morning. As we tried to get out of bed that morning, Ray finally said, he needed to go to the hospital. The antibiotics had not helped, and he was obviously getting worse. We gathered all our crew up and loaded up. Ray just crawled in the passenger seat and closed his eyes. Ruth drove Ray in his truck and I drove the family car with the locked up brakes. I figured if something bad was going to happen in the car, I would rather be driving than her. We caravanned back to Stillwater, and my car, was dragging the whole time. Ruth said my brakes lights kept coming on and off the entire time we were driving. Seemed like I was using twice as much gas, but I didn't care!! Cars are replaceable, Ray is not!! I began calling and asking our family and friends to pray. Pray for Ray, and for whoever was going to be on the receiving end at the hospital. We needed the Lord to show the Dr. where this infection was coming from, and not get distracted by alot of rabbit trails.
2 miles from the Stillwater exit, the "check engine soon" light started FLASHING at me. Ray always told me that if the light comes on it isn't an emergency, it is just good to get it checked out soon. If the light starts flashing, pull over immediately!!! Well, I HAD to get my husband to the hospital, so I just cried out to the Lord, literally, to keep my car going, and carry it to the hospital. I scared the kids to death, who were resting from the weekend!! All of a sudden, the light went off, and I kept the cruise control on, heading straight for the hospital. I kept praying out-loud until we made it, for the Lord to carry our car there and not let it explode!!
When we pulled into the hospital, Dr. Mark Mueller was the Dr. in the ER that day. He is a friend of Ray's, a Godly man, a fellow Kanakuk Kamp Dr., and his wife was my Bible Study leader last year. Mark began the process of figuring out what was going on, and after blood work, some tests, ultra-sounds, and observation, he said he was still baffled. Ray and I kept praying for wisdom, and Mark came back in the room and asked if Ray had been bitten by a tick. Ray said no, but I said Yes!! reminding him that he had me pull one off of him about a week and a half ago. Ray had forgotten since we get tick bites all the time in our family and think nothing of it!! The dots started connecting and Mark said he thought Ray had a tick born illness but it would take days to find out from the tick panel. Because of the severity of Ray's condition, they put Ray in the ICU until they felt like they had a handle on his situation. His blood counts for white and platelets were extremely low, and his liver enzymes were rising by the minute, and with a temp of 103.6 and rising with medication onboard, they were very concerned.
We were a little in shock that he was that sick, but so thankful God had shown Dr. Mueller to ask that specific question. We have since read that people die from this (Ehrlichiosis) because it is not diagnosed early enough. Praise God for His wisdom that he gave Dr. Mueller!
That first night in ICU was miserable, as they were not able to give Ray relief from the fever, so he was uncomfortable all night, as well as they wake you up to check on you every hour in the ICU anyway. I stayed with Ray in the chair next to the bed, trying to doze off every once in awhile. I guess, because of all the stress from the wedding planning, travel, and Ray's sickness, I got a migraine. I asked one of Ray's Dr. friends and partners to bring some strong migraine medicine to me that night, and I took it, but it didn't seem to touch it. By 5 am the next morning, I started throwing up, a result of the migraine. One of Ray's partners came in to check on him, and I'm right there in the room, ICU toilets are in the room, not separate, throwing up violently. He got me some nausea medicine, but after 2 doses, it didn't even touch it. By the time the Dr. came around to check on Ray, I was so weak, dehydrated, and exhausted from throwing up for 6 hours, I could hardly even look up and listen to what he was discussing about Ray's condition. Ray started trying to lean over out of his bed, with wires connected all over him, to try and take care of me!! Ridiculous!! Finally, I gave up, and Ray's brother took me across the street to get a shot to help with the migraine and throwing up. I returned 4 hours later a new woman!!
In the mean time, while Ray was still in the ICU, we got a phone call from our vet concerning our dog that had been hit over the wedding weekend, since we had not taken car of the dog on Sunday when we got back into town. Obviously, that had moved down on the priority list, since Ray was about to die and had to go into the ICU. Once Ray answered and explained we were in the hospital, he assured us he would keep him comfortable until we could tend to him!! Thank goodness.
They moved Ray to a regular room, and after 2 more days in the hospital, the tick panel came back, and it was confirmed, Ehrlichiosis. They let us go home, but with a pic line connected to Ray, so they could continue to give him IV antibiotics. We were sent home to rest for the rest of the week.
Below is a picture of Ray resting the evening we got home from the hospital....
While we were in the hospital, some of our friends, who were also our Klife directors in Stillwater, stayed with our kids and tried to keep things going while we were unable to. They dropped off our car at the shop, thinking I had probably completely burned up the brakes on that 4 hour trek home from Texas. Can you believe, they looked the entire car over and said they could not find one thing wrong with it!!?? I promise you there was!!! Ray thinks God may have healed my car when I cried out those last 10 miles to the hospital!!!
The dog was not so lucky, as when we finally got over to see about him later on in the week, we had to put him down. He is now buried in our back yard. The whole family was sad, but in light of what their Daddy had just endured, and the fact that HE was alive, it kinda gave us better perspective on losing our dog. He will be missed though.
Wow, what a wedding weekend!! After it was all over, and we felt like Ray was at least out of the woods, and on his way to healing, and after the dog was buried in the back yard, the flood gates opened up and I cried. It all came out, and I realized my son had gotten married!! What?! I barely remembered because of all that had happened since. Thank goodness people took pictures! Thank the Lord He is faithful, my son is married, my husband is alive, and we are home. Glory be to God.
We are 2 weeks out from the wedding and the ICU weekend at the time I am writing this. Ray is healing, it is slow but steady. His energy levels are lower than normal, and he poops our real quick. He is finished with the antibiotics and is just mending now. One of our friends from Kamp who had this same thing, said it took 6 months before he felt like himself again. So we will see, sounds like a marathon and not a sprint, kinda like life in general. We are grateful for today. Those that have prayed, thank you.
Gratefully yours,
JJ
What a wonderful time to celebrate our son and his bride as they made a covenant before the Lord to remain faithful to one another until the Lord takes them home. (I included some pics below!!) How much joy and yet what a whirlwind we ended up having as life started spinning out of control!!
As usual, the weeks leading up to a wedding get a little crazy!! I felt like Queen Esther from the Bible, with all the preparations I was doing just to get myself ready for the big day!! Along with that, the rehearsal dinner prep, decorations, center pieces, meal plan and making of the deserts was also on my list of things to do. Making sure my guys had the right size tuxes, girls had their dresses, shoes, and grooming supplies, etc., etc.!! Those that have been a part of the planning process of a wedding with a big family know what I am talking about!!
Anyway, on Wednesday of the week leading up to the wedding, Ray came in not feeling well that night! He had been stung by some bees on Wednesday morning, so he thought he might just be having a reaction. He medicated himself and went to bed early that night. I wasn't too worried about it and honestly I was more concerned with packing the car and making sure we were ready to go to Texas the next day without forgetting anything we needed!
On Thursday we began to make our trek down to the Ranch for wedding weekend. I left with the first car full of supplies and kids, so I could get down there and unload and be ready to start setting up Friday morning for the dinner. Ray came in the second wave, waiting on our college daughter, Ruth, to get out of her last day of classes for the semester. They came in late that night, and didn't get to the Ranch until 2:30am! That whole day Thursday, unbeknownst to me, Ray had been treating himself for fever and was taking an antibiotic incase this was some type of infection he had picked up from the bees.
Friday morning we woke up ready to get to work making the flower arrangements and center pieces for the tables. It was raining, so I assured Ray he could rest, since there was nothing for him to do until the rain stopped and we went down to do final setup late that afternoon. I thought he was just tired from the late night of travel. He told me later he was still treating himself for fever and if he didn't snap out of this, he would change to another antibiotic the next morning.
Me, Mom, and sisters decorating.
Jeanan, Baylor Friend, came to help too.
The dinner was wonderful and we had a sweet time of fellowship and celebration of Jesse and Hannah. Ray did an amazing job of leading the dinner and sharing from his heart.
I thought Ray was all better, but that night when we finally went to bed, his fever came back up and he fought it throughout night, really not resting much.
Also, after the dinner that night, we were driving back to one of the houses on the ranch to pick something up and Ray missed the turn, so he slammed on the brakes on my car. The brakes seemed to lock up, or at least added a drag to the car from that point on, and wouldn't un-stick. Oh well, we had to drive to the venue the next morning (which was over 2 hours away), and needed both cars, so we didn't have time to mess with it at the moment!! Ray said it might ruin my car, but honestly, what could I do? I didn't' feel like I had a choice, my son only gets married once! So Ray said he would stop on the way to the venue to get stuff to fix the car the next day while we were all getting ready!
In the middle of the night, while we were supposed to be sleeping (Ray wasn't because of fever) we got a phone call at 2:30 in the morning, informing us that one of our dogs got out and had been hit back up in Stillwater. He was alive but not doing that great! Since we were 4 hours away, there wasn't much we could do, so we instructed our friends to put him at the house, and if he was alive the next morning, to take him to the vet. We would deal with this on Sunday when we got home!!
Saturday morning came, and we were all in a bustle trying to get all our stuff together and head to the venue in Van Alstyne!! Ray was miserable, and had already called in more medicine. I was a little stressed because we were all supposed to be at the venue by 11 for a walk through rehearsal. Ray said he had to pick up the meds AND the parts for the car first, and then he would be there.
All the rest of us headed out, and he was going to be following behind us. We all made it, but Ray called and said he was feeling so bad, he was going straight to the hotel instead, to lay down.
Rehearsal, Esther standing in for Jesse!
Wedding time!!
After the walk through, we headed to the hotel to start doing hair, makeup, and dresses.
Ray was resting when we arrived, but I left, and when I got back from my hair appointment, Ray was gone. The girls said he was stepping out for a minute. I went out and looked for him, thinking he might have felt like working on the car after his nap, but he was no where to be found. We all finished getting dressed and it was time to go, but no Ray! I texted him, but no response. About that time, in he walks, or rather, drags into our room, shaking and miserable. I asked where he had been, and he said he had been laying on the parking lot trying to get warm, the asphalt felt good to him!! What?! Well, it was time for us to leave to be there early to welcome guests and be there before the wedding started, but Ray said for us to just go on without him. No, I couldn't just leave Ray and I felt like he needed my help, hopefully to get dressed and go, at least to the ceremony, of our son's wedding! I sent the girls on with my mom, and I helped Ray shower, dress, and he took 1000 ml of Motrin to try and bring the fever down.
I got him in the car, and drove like a bat out of hell to get to the wedding before it started!! We came barreling in to the parking lot 10 minutes before start time! On the drive there, his fever seemed to break a little, which gave him some relief. God, I know, gave him the strength to sit through and enjoy the wedding ceremony, and the first hour and an half of the reception.
We even had a dance, but then he began to crash.
My brother-in-law volunteered to take him back to the hotel so I could stay and visit with all our guests. But when we all got back to the room that night, Ray was shaking, wearing all his clothes, wrapped in blankets and moaning. That was our night all night Saturday night and early into Sunday morning. As we tried to get out of bed that morning, Ray finally said, he needed to go to the hospital. The antibiotics had not helped, and he was obviously getting worse. We gathered all our crew up and loaded up. Ray just crawled in the passenger seat and closed his eyes. Ruth drove Ray in his truck and I drove the family car with the locked up brakes. I figured if something bad was going to happen in the car, I would rather be driving than her. We caravanned back to Stillwater, and my car, was dragging the whole time. Ruth said my brakes lights kept coming on and off the entire time we were driving. Seemed like I was using twice as much gas, but I didn't care!! Cars are replaceable, Ray is not!! I began calling and asking our family and friends to pray. Pray for Ray, and for whoever was going to be on the receiving end at the hospital. We needed the Lord to show the Dr. where this infection was coming from, and not get distracted by alot of rabbit trails.
2 miles from the Stillwater exit, the "check engine soon" light started FLASHING at me. Ray always told me that if the light comes on it isn't an emergency, it is just good to get it checked out soon. If the light starts flashing, pull over immediately!!! Well, I HAD to get my husband to the hospital, so I just cried out to the Lord, literally, to keep my car going, and carry it to the hospital. I scared the kids to death, who were resting from the weekend!! All of a sudden, the light went off, and I kept the cruise control on, heading straight for the hospital. I kept praying out-loud until we made it, for the Lord to carry our car there and not let it explode!!
When we pulled into the hospital, Dr. Mark Mueller was the Dr. in the ER that day. He is a friend of Ray's, a Godly man, a fellow Kanakuk Kamp Dr., and his wife was my Bible Study leader last year. Mark began the process of figuring out what was going on, and after blood work, some tests, ultra-sounds, and observation, he said he was still baffled. Ray and I kept praying for wisdom, and Mark came back in the room and asked if Ray had been bitten by a tick. Ray said no, but I said Yes!! reminding him that he had me pull one off of him about a week and a half ago. Ray had forgotten since we get tick bites all the time in our family and think nothing of it!! The dots started connecting and Mark said he thought Ray had a tick born illness but it would take days to find out from the tick panel. Because of the severity of Ray's condition, they put Ray in the ICU until they felt like they had a handle on his situation. His blood counts for white and platelets were extremely low, and his liver enzymes were rising by the minute, and with a temp of 103.6 and rising with medication onboard, they were very concerned.
We were a little in shock that he was that sick, but so thankful God had shown Dr. Mueller to ask that specific question. We have since read that people die from this (Ehrlichiosis) because it is not diagnosed early enough. Praise God for His wisdom that he gave Dr. Mueller!
That first night in ICU was miserable, as they were not able to give Ray relief from the fever, so he was uncomfortable all night, as well as they wake you up to check on you every hour in the ICU anyway. I stayed with Ray in the chair next to the bed, trying to doze off every once in awhile. I guess, because of all the stress from the wedding planning, travel, and Ray's sickness, I got a migraine. I asked one of Ray's Dr. friends and partners to bring some strong migraine medicine to me that night, and I took it, but it didn't seem to touch it. By 5 am the next morning, I started throwing up, a result of the migraine. One of Ray's partners came in to check on him, and I'm right there in the room, ICU toilets are in the room, not separate, throwing up violently. He got me some nausea medicine, but after 2 doses, it didn't even touch it. By the time the Dr. came around to check on Ray, I was so weak, dehydrated, and exhausted from throwing up for 6 hours, I could hardly even look up and listen to what he was discussing about Ray's condition. Ray started trying to lean over out of his bed, with wires connected all over him, to try and take care of me!! Ridiculous!! Finally, I gave up, and Ray's brother took me across the street to get a shot to help with the migraine and throwing up. I returned 4 hours later a new woman!!
In the mean time, while Ray was still in the ICU, we got a phone call from our vet concerning our dog that had been hit over the wedding weekend, since we had not taken car of the dog on Sunday when we got back into town. Obviously, that had moved down on the priority list, since Ray was about to die and had to go into the ICU. Once Ray answered and explained we were in the hospital, he assured us he would keep him comfortable until we could tend to him!! Thank goodness.
They moved Ray to a regular room, and after 2 more days in the hospital, the tick panel came back, and it was confirmed, Ehrlichiosis. They let us go home, but with a pic line connected to Ray, so they could continue to give him IV antibiotics. We were sent home to rest for the rest of the week.
Below is a picture of Ray resting the evening we got home from the hospital....
While we were in the hospital, some of our friends, who were also our Klife directors in Stillwater, stayed with our kids and tried to keep things going while we were unable to. They dropped off our car at the shop, thinking I had probably completely burned up the brakes on that 4 hour trek home from Texas. Can you believe, they looked the entire car over and said they could not find one thing wrong with it!!?? I promise you there was!!! Ray thinks God may have healed my car when I cried out those last 10 miles to the hospital!!!
The dog was not so lucky, as when we finally got over to see about him later on in the week, we had to put him down. He is now buried in our back yard. The whole family was sad, but in light of what their Daddy had just endured, and the fact that HE was alive, it kinda gave us better perspective on losing our dog. He will be missed though.
Wow, what a wedding weekend!! After it was all over, and we felt like Ray was at least out of the woods, and on his way to healing, and after the dog was buried in the back yard, the flood gates opened up and I cried. It all came out, and I realized my son had gotten married!! What?! I barely remembered because of all that had happened since. Thank goodness people took pictures! Thank the Lord He is faithful, my son is married, my husband is alive, and we are home. Glory be to God.
We are 2 weeks out from the wedding and the ICU weekend at the time I am writing this. Ray is healing, it is slow but steady. His energy levels are lower than normal, and he poops our real quick. He is finished with the antibiotics and is just mending now. One of our friends from Kamp who had this same thing, said it took 6 months before he felt like himself again. So we will see, sounds like a marathon and not a sprint, kinda like life in general. We are grateful for today. Those that have prayed, thank you.
Gratefully yours,
JJ
Thursday, February 2, 2017
"It's easier to watch, because I know how this will end."
(This post is 2 years old, found it in my drafts, just never posted it. Jesse wasn't even in college yet, and Bryce Petty was still Baylor's quarterback. Not funny, but an encouraging reminder.)
"It's easier to watch, because I know how this will end," says Ray as he settles in to watch the recorded football game of Baylor vs. OU, the day after it was played.
Ray and Jesse had gone to check out a possible college football opportunity for Jesse next year, and missed the entire game of BU vs. OU on Saturday. Jesse and Ray got ESPN updates the whole time though, so they knew the final score as the game ended in real time.
The next day, Ray settled in to watch the game, and started from the beginning. Even though Baylor got 3 points on the board first, OU came back with a vengence, and before we knew it, had scored twice on Baylor, without hardly taking a breath. If you didn't know it, it looked as if this was going to be a tough game for Baylor, and the momentum was moving in the Sooners' favor. At this point, Ray looked over and said, "It's easier to watch this, knowing how it will end."
I just sat there and stared at him. He looked over,
"What?"
"Did you hear what you just said?"
"What?"
"It's easier to watch, because you know how it will end?!"....."Ray, that will preach!"
He smiled, because, you see, we are going through some stuff in our little family, that seems right now, to have about knocked us out. Ok, you may feel like I am over dramatizing, but honestly, we have felt as if we have been so knocked down, so defeated, so lost, that there is no possibility of victory or recovery. We have felt like complete failures as parents, and failures in our faith that God can even do anything about it. The enemy has got the momentum, has scored on us multiple times, and seems to be lining back up at our goal line, ready to punch it in again!
We have looked at these defeats as the FINAL outcome, and not as battles that must be fought in this greater war that we are in.
If we knew how it would end, it would be easier to watch. YES! But we do know how it will end!! We do!! The great enemy of old, still fights to destroy our marriages, our families, and take our children for his own victory. It may seem as if he has won, FEEL like he has won, and that there is no hope, or even reason to keep fighting, weilding that sword in prayer, because we see this so many times as the ENTIRE war. But it is not. It is only a battle, the first quarter, one of many that we will fight, in this greater war that is ulitmately already won. These battles we are going through now, are worth fighting through, because though we feel like we may have lost somewhat, and given ground to the enemy, we have not lost, we are still fighting, still in this.
By God's grace, He had me listening to another book, right when this thing seemed to rear it's ugly head, He is Faithful by Carol Cymbola. I highly recommend if you are needing some encouragement that God is faithful through ALL that we go through, whether it is self emposed, or nothing of our own doing. Of course, it goes along with my favorite verse, my life verse, which is found in Lamentations 3:22-23 "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness."
Every morning, isn't that awesome, we get to hit the reset button every 24 hours. All I know is that I feel down 14-3 in the game, but I have to realize, we are only in the first quarter, and I have seen the end, so even though, it may not make it as easy as watchin' our Bears get whooped up on for the first 15 min, as it is watching my kids get whooped up on by the enemy, I can say, knowing how this thing will end, Jesus gets final victory in their lives, in my life, and this world, it makes these daily battles easier to watch, and yes, also encourages me to keep the shoulder pads on, keep running out there on that field, keep weilding that sword in prayer, because Bryce Petty is bound to get that ball and throw for a first! And then baby, watch out!! The momentum will start rolling, and we are off and running to kick the enemies rear!
Hallelujah,
JJ
(P.S. - Since I am posting this almost 2 years later, I can honestly say God did win the victory in these areas we felt were soooo difficult and impossible!! But with God ALL things are possible!)
"It's easier to watch, because I know how this will end," says Ray as he settles in to watch the recorded football game of Baylor vs. OU, the day after it was played.
Ray and Jesse had gone to check out a possible college football opportunity for Jesse next year, and missed the entire game of BU vs. OU on Saturday. Jesse and Ray got ESPN updates the whole time though, so they knew the final score as the game ended in real time.
The next day, Ray settled in to watch the game, and started from the beginning. Even though Baylor got 3 points on the board first, OU came back with a vengence, and before we knew it, had scored twice on Baylor, without hardly taking a breath. If you didn't know it, it looked as if this was going to be a tough game for Baylor, and the momentum was moving in the Sooners' favor. At this point, Ray looked over and said, "It's easier to watch this, knowing how it will end."
I just sat there and stared at him. He looked over,
"What?"
"Did you hear what you just said?"
"What?"
"It's easier to watch, because you know how it will end?!"....."Ray, that will preach!"
He smiled, because, you see, we are going through some stuff in our little family, that seems right now, to have about knocked us out. Ok, you may feel like I am over dramatizing, but honestly, we have felt as if we have been so knocked down, so defeated, so lost, that there is no possibility of victory or recovery. We have felt like complete failures as parents, and failures in our faith that God can even do anything about it. The enemy has got the momentum, has scored on us multiple times, and seems to be lining back up at our goal line, ready to punch it in again!
We have looked at these defeats as the FINAL outcome, and not as battles that must be fought in this greater war that we are in.
If we knew how it would end, it would be easier to watch. YES! But we do know how it will end!! We do!! The great enemy of old, still fights to destroy our marriages, our families, and take our children for his own victory. It may seem as if he has won, FEEL like he has won, and that there is no hope, or even reason to keep fighting, weilding that sword in prayer, because we see this so many times as the ENTIRE war. But it is not. It is only a battle, the first quarter, one of many that we will fight, in this greater war that is ulitmately already won. These battles we are going through now, are worth fighting through, because though we feel like we may have lost somewhat, and given ground to the enemy, we have not lost, we are still fighting, still in this.
By God's grace, He had me listening to another book, right when this thing seemed to rear it's ugly head, He is Faithful by Carol Cymbola. I highly recommend if you are needing some encouragement that God is faithful through ALL that we go through, whether it is self emposed, or nothing of our own doing. Of course, it goes along with my favorite verse, my life verse, which is found in Lamentations 3:22-23 "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness."
Every morning, isn't that awesome, we get to hit the reset button every 24 hours. All I know is that I feel down 14-3 in the game, but I have to realize, we are only in the first quarter, and I have seen the end, so even though, it may not make it as easy as watchin' our Bears get whooped up on for the first 15 min, as it is watching my kids get whooped up on by the enemy, I can say, knowing how this thing will end, Jesus gets final victory in their lives, in my life, and this world, it makes these daily battles easier to watch, and yes, also encourages me to keep the shoulder pads on, keep running out there on that field, keep weilding that sword in prayer, because Bryce Petty is bound to get that ball and throw for a first! And then baby, watch out!! The momentum will start rolling, and we are off and running to kick the enemies rear!
Hallelujah,
JJ
(P.S. - Since I am posting this almost 2 years later, I can honestly say God did win the victory in these areas we felt were soooo difficult and impossible!! But with God ALL things are possible!)
Friday, March 27, 2015
He's a Sorry Suck-Egg Booger!!
I hate him!! Just hate him. The liar to my soul, the threatener to my joy and peace. The conniving, deceptive, loud, obnoxious stealer of anything good in this life.
I've been fighting him toe to toe this morning. Even though I still have a boot on one foot (from surgery) and a tennis shoe on the other, I have my battle posture on. No more! At least not for today! I am not gonna buy into his crud, give place in my mind for him to carefully, oh so carefully, place those toxic thoughts.
Who am I talking about? No, certainly not Ray, or one of my kids. Not my neighbor, or someone at church, though he does try to make an appearance there. No, I am talking about the enemy of our soul, the prince of lies, the hater of our beloved Christ. He is a sorry suck-egg booger, in the words of my Dad, Mike Janszen.
He is such a poser, appearing to have it all figured out, and trying to get me to come along side and start agreeing with him, that maybe, just maybe, God isn't really working in my life, or that He might be withholding His best from me, or my husband, or even worse, my children. Maybe He doesn't really mean what He says in His Word, or that it just doesn't seem to apply to this specific circumstance. He has been telling this lie since the beginning of time, you know?
Eve thought maybe the devil was right, and God was wrong. I am the same woman, born of the same nature. For me to even give him a moment in my mind, to ponder, that maybe he is right, and God is just not all that great, makes me wanna throw up! It ticks me off!
For Heaven's sake! I know better! When I am on my game, battle posture on, I can take those thoughts captive, wrestle them to the ground like a police officer tackling a criminal suspect, and kick his sorry behind right out of my mind. Telling him where he can go in not so nice of terms. I hate him, and God help me that I would allow him one inch of ground on the fertile soil of my mind and heart.
This morning I was reading in 2 Chronicles chapter 32. Hezekiah had just cleaned house, restored the temple, reinstated all the Holy Days that God had commanded Moses and His people to carry out weekly, and annually. The people had come together, worshiped, then gone back to their own homes and cleaned house in each of their individual communities and households. Revival had taken place, starting with the king, and spreading to the entire nation. Awesome!!
But then, the enemy shows up, and I quote, "After these deeds of faithfulness, Sennacherib king of Assyria, came and entered Judah." (2 Chron. 32:1) King Hezekiah encourages the people that The Lord is with them, and He will fight this battle against the "arm of flesh" of the Assyrians. (31:7-8) The Assyrians, and their king begin filling God's people's ears with lies, lies, lies. He tells them they have no chance against him and his army, that no other nation has withstood, so why would they? He places doubt about King Hezekiah and his intentions, stating that all the king has said cannot be trusted. The enemy finally starts "proclaiming in a loud voice, in words they could understand (Hebrew)" saying things to "frighten and trouble them" (31:18). Oh God, is this not what happens with me!! The enemy knows just what to say, and how to say it in a way that I understand, to frighten and trouble my heart.
But praise Him, they did not cave, they prayed and cried out to the Lord. And what did He do?? Ha!! He took the enemy out! And I quote, "So the Lord sent an angel who cut down every mighty man of valor, leader, and captain in the Assyrian camp." (2 Chron. 32:21) But He didn't stop there. When the king, Sennacherib, went back home, he went to his temple of worship to his gods, and his own offspring turned on him and slew him dead!
Isn't that the way it is? The enemy spews out the lies, wants to put fear and trouble in our hearts and minds, so we will give in and go his way, reject our King, and follow him. All the while, he is already defeated, and even his own, will turn on him in a New York minute.
He roars like a lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet. 5:9), but our God, our King, our Lord, our Savior, He IS the LION of Judah. He's not all bark and no bite, He is the One true Lion, and He wins!! His bite crushes the head of the enemy (Gen. 3:15). Satan is a poser, roaring loudly, trying to scare the livin' daylights out of us, but really, he's like one of those tiny, yippy, (fake dogs, I call em') chihuahuas! They try with all their might to bark and intimidate those around them. Pathetic!! Let's see him for what he really is, a defeated, madder than anything, but defeated foe. Hallelujah, God wins!!
As I was reading this passage this morning, I began to talk with my Heavenly Father about it, and telling the devil just what he could do with his crud. I got a little fired up, and Ray came running into the den to see what in the world I was going off about and who I was talking to in not so quiet of a voice. After I preached a little to him about what I had just read, He agreed, smiled, then went back to what he was doing, relieved I wasn't talking to someone on the phone like that!!
I pray we can take these lies, these thoughts captive, that are rearing up their ugly head in our hearts and minds. Take them to the Word, and let God replace them with His truth. And in Hezekiah's exhortation,
“Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid nor dismayed before the king of Assyria, nor before all the multitude that is with him; for there are more with us than with him. 8 With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles.”
Hallelujah!
I've been fighting him toe to toe this morning. Even though I still have a boot on one foot (from surgery) and a tennis shoe on the other, I have my battle posture on. No more! At least not for today! I am not gonna buy into his crud, give place in my mind for him to carefully, oh so carefully, place those toxic thoughts.
Who am I talking about? No, certainly not Ray, or one of my kids. Not my neighbor, or someone at church, though he does try to make an appearance there. No, I am talking about the enemy of our soul, the prince of lies, the hater of our beloved Christ. He is a sorry suck-egg booger, in the words of my Dad, Mike Janszen.
He is such a poser, appearing to have it all figured out, and trying to get me to come along side and start agreeing with him, that maybe, just maybe, God isn't really working in my life, or that He might be withholding His best from me, or my husband, or even worse, my children. Maybe He doesn't really mean what He says in His Word, or that it just doesn't seem to apply to this specific circumstance. He has been telling this lie since the beginning of time, you know?
Eve thought maybe the devil was right, and God was wrong. I am the same woman, born of the same nature. For me to even give him a moment in my mind, to ponder, that maybe he is right, and God is just not all that great, makes me wanna throw up! It ticks me off!
For Heaven's sake! I know better! When I am on my game, battle posture on, I can take those thoughts captive, wrestle them to the ground like a police officer tackling a criminal suspect, and kick his sorry behind right out of my mind. Telling him where he can go in not so nice of terms. I hate him, and God help me that I would allow him one inch of ground on the fertile soil of my mind and heart.
This morning I was reading in 2 Chronicles chapter 32. Hezekiah had just cleaned house, restored the temple, reinstated all the Holy Days that God had commanded Moses and His people to carry out weekly, and annually. The people had come together, worshiped, then gone back to their own homes and cleaned house in each of their individual communities and households. Revival had taken place, starting with the king, and spreading to the entire nation. Awesome!!
But then, the enemy shows up, and I quote, "After these deeds of faithfulness, Sennacherib king of Assyria, came and entered Judah." (2 Chron. 32:1) King Hezekiah encourages the people that The Lord is with them, and He will fight this battle against the "arm of flesh" of the Assyrians. (31:7-8) The Assyrians, and their king begin filling God's people's ears with lies, lies, lies. He tells them they have no chance against him and his army, that no other nation has withstood, so why would they? He places doubt about King Hezekiah and his intentions, stating that all the king has said cannot be trusted. The enemy finally starts "proclaiming in a loud voice, in words they could understand (Hebrew)" saying things to "frighten and trouble them" (31:18). Oh God, is this not what happens with me!! The enemy knows just what to say, and how to say it in a way that I understand, to frighten and trouble my heart.
But praise Him, they did not cave, they prayed and cried out to the Lord. And what did He do?? Ha!! He took the enemy out! And I quote, "So the Lord sent an angel who cut down every mighty man of valor, leader, and captain in the Assyrian camp." (2 Chron. 32:21) But He didn't stop there. When the king, Sennacherib, went back home, he went to his temple of worship to his gods, and his own offspring turned on him and slew him dead!
Isn't that the way it is? The enemy spews out the lies, wants to put fear and trouble in our hearts and minds, so we will give in and go his way, reject our King, and follow him. All the while, he is already defeated, and even his own, will turn on him in a New York minute.
He roars like a lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet. 5:9), but our God, our King, our Lord, our Savior, He IS the LION of Judah. He's not all bark and no bite, He is the One true Lion, and He wins!! His bite crushes the head of the enemy (Gen. 3:15). Satan is a poser, roaring loudly, trying to scare the livin' daylights out of us, but really, he's like one of those tiny, yippy, (fake dogs, I call em') chihuahuas! They try with all their might to bark and intimidate those around them. Pathetic!! Let's see him for what he really is, a defeated, madder than anything, but defeated foe. Hallelujah, God wins!!
As I was reading this passage this morning, I began to talk with my Heavenly Father about it, and telling the devil just what he could do with his crud. I got a little fired up, and Ray came running into the den to see what in the world I was going off about and who I was talking to in not so quiet of a voice. After I preached a little to him about what I had just read, He agreed, smiled, then went back to what he was doing, relieved I wasn't talking to someone on the phone like that!!
I pray we can take these lies, these thoughts captive, that are rearing up their ugly head in our hearts and minds. Take them to the Word, and let God replace them with His truth. And in Hezekiah's exhortation,
“Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid nor dismayed before the king of Assyria, nor before all the multitude that is with him; for there are more with us than with him. 8 With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles.”
Hallelujah!
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