CRAWFISH BOIL WITH NO CRAWFISH!!

Once again, the Ray Ford family wanted to have a fun different kind of celebration, well at least Ray did!! Esther, our middle daughter, was graduating from Stillwater High School, and it is a big deal up here to throw graduation parties and invite all your friends and their families.  Well, we are all about having people over, and love a good excuse to throw a party, but, I am usually in charge of the food! 

Ever since we left Louisiana 16 years ago, Ray has been wanting to have a crawfish boil! Since this was our last kid to be born in LA, we decided, no better time than now, but I told Ray, he had to be in charge of the crawfish boiling part, that was not my area of expertise!! So, Ray got online about a month before the party and ordered the crawfish (and shrimp, just incase some people were grossed out at the thought of pulling those suckers apart and sucking the brains out)!! We had about 50 lbs. of fresh LIVE crawfish and shrimp coming our way arriving the morning of the party.  We wanted them to come the day before, but the company we were using insisted that this is how they do it and guaranteed they will be fresh!! So ok, we went with the recommendation, gave them our credit card, and off we go!! 

We planned all the rest of the food to go along with it, lots of finger foods, but the main event was going to be the crawfish and shrimp from the Bayou!! As time grew closer, Ray went to Atwoods and bought a HUGE outdoor boiler and by the morning of the party, we were sitting on go.  As the guaranteed time of 10 am came and went, I began to get a little nervous, but decided to relax, and knew that these people do this all the time and they would make good on their promise.  Ray was at the hospital and wasn't even thinking about it, until on his way home, at 2pm, he received a phone call.  They said they weren't sure what happened but last they heard our delivery was stuck in Memphis!! By the time Ray got home, we went into full "back up and punt mode"!! We had plenty of finger foods, but what was the main course gonna be? After discussing crockpots full of little smokies, platters of coconut chicken from Thai Cafe, and peanut butter sandwiches, wouldn't be great, but better than nothing, Ray decided that he would just go buy every bag of shrimp in Stillwater, and we would just explain to our guests what happened and why there was no crawfish. 

An hour later when he got home, believe it or not, he had 50 lbs of shrimp AND crawfish, all from Walmart!! I never knew, and about half the price of what we had origanally ordered it for.  He went to work boiling all the shrimp, crawfish, potatoes, and corn, and as our guests arrived, no one was the wiser, unless we told them. It turned out great, we all ate to our fill, and enjoyed celebrating our middle daughter and all the graduates.  

The next morning however, after I called the company and requested our money be credited back, which they did do, I asked them about the pending late arrival of the crawfish and shrimp.  She told me that surely FedEx would not deliver 50 lbs of dead crawfish after 48 hours.  Well 30 minutes later, guess what was on our porch, stinking up the entire place and calling every varment in from all of Payne County?!  As my dad used to say, "Gag a mother maggot!!" It was the worst thing I have every smelled.  Needless to say, we got rid of the fish, and the smell has returned to somewhat normal, though ever once in awhile, I get a whiff of something still lingering in the air.
  
No great spiritual lessons here, just another typical Ford adventure that something had to go wrong. Well, except, for the brief moment, I started to panic, but figured, we don't have to have crawfish to love on people and make them feel welcome.  Then God gave us the crawfish anyway!! A dear friend of ours' mom used to always say, "A house is to bless, not to impress!"  And I was thinking, it's the same with crawfish or anything else we serve our guests!! No impressing here!!  But all's well that ends well, and Esther felt loved.  God is good.

Yeah graduates of 2019, 
JJ

How do we live as Christ in just plain old every day life? I am still learning!

Well, found this post that I forgot to post!!! HaHa!! This was written back in February!

It's been awhile since my last post.  Waiting on something funny or exiting to happen in our lives to write about and all the while, life just keeps ticking away.  Here we are, half way through February, 2019, and I just have life to share.  This year, Ray started off his January by having an old football injury from Baylor repaired.  His ankle bone had turned to mush, and he had that cleaned out and replaced with cadaver bone, which will hopefully give him a stronger ankle than he has had for almost 30 years. For several weeks, I was his hands and feet, as he was in alot of pain and unable to do anything. After he recovered at home for the first week, WE returned to work, as he needed help opening, closing doors, carrying things, and just general cheerleading and support for the next week.  After 2 weeks, I returned back to my normal job, home maker, and guess what, Josh came down with the FLU!! Glory, another week of being nurse and staying home.  I am grateful I was able to be here with my crew, and thankful that my life if full of appointments that can be cancelled without major consequence.  I am not complaining, it is just factual that it has been a few weeks of service and nursing.  Well, here I am again, with Anna home with the FLU!! I should have just let them all cough down each others throats, like I used to when they were little, and have them sick all at the same time instead of dragging it out!! Anyway, more time at home to think, pray, and just be.

Through this process, I have had some moments where I was really proud of myself.  What a servant I am!! Not complaining, joyfully taking care of everyone else's needs, cleaning, laundry, cooking, and all while others, who were healthy, in the household continued with their normal lives.  I felt like I deserved some gratitude, which I did receive on and off throughout this last month.  But I was really feelin' like I was amazing, and humbly happy to serve.  UNTIL.......... there was a few moments that I was treated in less than a kind way by some of these family members that I had been bending over backwards to serve.

Seriously!!! I couldn't believe it!! After all I had done for them, and I get treated like THIS!! Unbelievable!!! After one specific incidence, I went out to the car, only place to be alone in this house, got in and closed the door.  I began to cry, and pour my heart out before the Lord, "Lord, I can't believe after all I have done, and how kind and sweet I have been, and how serving I have been, that they would treat me like crap!! How can you let this happen? I don't deserve this!!"

"I DON'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS!!" I yelled.

I felt the Lord say, "Neither did I. And JJ, I really didn't deserve it, you actually have done some things before that might warrant this, but not me.  And is the servant greater than the Master?"

"No Lord, so I must go back in there, take it, and trust that this is taking up my cross, suffering with Christ, and humble myself before You and as unto You, and You will lift me up?"

"Yes, my dear child, trust Me."

I went back in, with a peace that God would reveal to the offenders their offense, and that MY offense was my pride!! I was just as guilty as they were.  Shoot!! Just when we think we have it all together.

God did restore, and convict where needed, and apologizes, forgiveness, and reconciliation happened.  But this was just the beginning for what God was wanting to show me. I have been studying David in Bible study, and 2 things have really stood out to me recently.  One is that David was so humble.

When David finally received the Davidic Covenant from God, and was promised all these wonderful things, kingdom, house, throne, how did he respond?  "Who am I, Lord"  He was so humble! Now this is the guy that had been anointed 20 years ago to be king.  This is the guy that slayed Goliath, this is the guy that they had sung, "Saul killed his thousands, but David killed his 10,000s!!" Everyone knew and loved David in Israel, and yet David was humble!! Who am I?

When I went out to the car and was lamenting to the Lord over my heart ache, hurt, and wounded-ness, I was saying to the Lord, "Do you know who I AM??  NOT, Who am I?! How can You let this happen to ME?  I don't deserve this, I am someone special!!" Wow!!  My response and prayer to the Lord is so convicting.  It is a miracle and by the grace of God that He even does one more good thing in my life from this point on, and I am to be eternally and humbly grateful for His goodness and mercy in my life.

The second thing that stood out to me from David in this specific passage of scripture, was that when David prayed back to the Lord after God had spoken the Davidic Covenant to him, that He prayed the very things God had just promised him right before.  He prayed God's promises BACK to Him.  Now I KNOW we are to pray God's word back to Him, but I feel like I have been lazy in doing this, and just praying my own pitiful words.  I was inspired, convicted, and reminded to pray God's promises daily in my prayer life.  Remind Him of what He has said and stand confidently on His word.  To do this, I must be IN the word, meditating on it, and knowing it.  What a good reminder for me.  God is faithful to His promises.  God is faithful to me.  Always.

JJ

How our son's wedding weekend ended up in the ICU.

Glory to God, He is faithful!! I am so thankful my husband is alive! That was my Mother's Day gift!! 

What a wonderful time to celebrate our son and his bride as they made a covenant before the Lord to remain faithful to one another until the Lord takes them home.  (I included some pics below!!) How much joy and yet what a whirlwind we ended up having as life started spinning out of control!! 

As usual, the weeks leading up to a wedding get a little crazy!! I felt like Queen Esther from the Bible, with all the preparations I was doing just to get myself ready for the big day!! Along with that, the rehearsal dinner prep, decorations, center pieces, meal plan and making of the deserts was also on my list of things to do.  Making sure my guys had the right size tuxes, girls had their dresses, shoes, and grooming supplies, etc., etc.!! Those that have been a part of the planning process of a wedding with a big family know what I am talking about!! 

Anyway, on Wednesday of  the week leading up to the wedding, Ray came in not feeling well that night! He had been stung by some bees on Wednesday morning, so he thought he might just be having a reaction.  He medicated himself and went to bed early that night.  I wasn't too worried about it and honestly I was more concerned with packing the car and making sure we were ready to go to Texas the next day without forgetting anything we needed!

On Thursday we began to make our trek down to the Ranch for wedding weekend.   I left with the first car full of supplies and kids, so I could get down there and unload and be ready to start setting up Friday morning for the dinner.  Ray came in the second wave, waiting on our college daughter, Ruth, to get out of her last day of classes for the semester.  They came in late that night, and didn't get to the Ranch until 2:30am!  That whole day Thursday, unbeknownst to me, Ray had been treating himself for fever and was taking an antibiotic incase this was some type of infection he had picked up from the bees.

Friday morning we woke up ready to get to work making the flower arrangements and center pieces for the tables.  It was raining, so I assured Ray he could rest, since there was nothing for him to do until the rain stopped and we went down to do final setup late that afternoon.  I thought he was just tired from the late night of travel.  He told me later he was still treating himself for fever and if he didn't snap out of this, he would change to another antibiotic the next morning.  

 Me, Mom, and sisters decorating.

Jeanan, Baylor Friend, came to help too.

The dinner was wonderful and we had a sweet time of fellowship and celebration of Jesse and Hannah.  Ray did an amazing job of leading the dinner and sharing from his heart.  
I thought Ray was all better, but that night when we finally went to bed, his fever came back up and he fought it throughout night, really not resting much.

Also, after the dinner that night, we were driving back to one of the houses on the ranch to pick something up and Ray missed the turn, so he slammed on the brakes on my car.  The brakes seemed to lock up, or at least added a drag to the car from that point on, and wouldn't un-stick.  Oh well, we had to drive to the venue the next morning (which was over 2 hours away), and needed both cars, so we didn't have time to mess with it at the moment!! Ray said it might ruin my car, but honestly, what could I do?  I didn't' feel like I had a choice, my son only gets married once! So Ray said he would stop on the way to the venue to get stuff to fix the car the next day while we were all getting ready!

In the middle of the night, while we were supposed to be sleeping (Ray wasn't because of fever) we got a phone call at 2:30 in the morning, informing us that one of our dogs got out and had been hit back up in Stillwater.  He was alive but not doing that great! Since we were 4 hours away, there wasn't much we could do, so we instructed our friends to put him at the house, and if he was alive the next morning, to take him to the vet.  We would deal with this on Sunday when we got home!!

Saturday morning came, and we were all in a bustle trying to get all our stuff together and head to the venue in Van Alstyne!! Ray was miserable, and had already called in more medicine.  I was a little stressed because we were all supposed to be at the venue by 11 for a walk through rehearsal.  Ray said he had to pick up the meds AND the parts for the car first, and then he would be there.  

All the rest of us headed out, and he was going to be following behind us.  We all made it, but Ray called and said he was feeling so bad, he was going straight to the hotel instead, to lay down. 

 Rehearsal, Esther standing in for Jesse!

 Wedding time!!

After the walk through, we headed to the hotel to start doing hair, makeup, and dresses.  
Ray was resting when we arrived, but I left, and when I got back from my hair appointment, Ray was gone.  The girls said he was stepping out for a minute.  I went out and looked for him, thinking he might have felt like working on the car after his nap, but he was no where to be found.  We all finished getting dressed and it was time to go, but no Ray!  I texted him, but no response.  About that time, in he walks, or rather, drags into our room, shaking and miserable.  I asked where he had been, and he said he had been laying on the parking lot trying to get warm, the asphalt felt good to him!! What?! Well, it was time for us to leave to be there early to welcome guests and be there before the wedding started,  but Ray said for us to just go on without him.  No, I couldn't just leave Ray and I felt like he needed my help, hopefully to get dressed and go, at least to the ceremony, of our son's wedding!  I sent the girls on with my mom, and I helped Ray shower, dress, and he took 1000 ml of Motrin to try and bring the fever down.  

I got him in the car, and drove like a bat out of hell to get to the wedding before it started!! We came barreling in to the parking lot 10 minutes before start time!  On the drive there, his fever seemed to break a little, which gave him some relief.  God, I know, gave him the strength to sit through and enjoy the wedding ceremony, and the first hour and an half of the reception.  

We even had a dance, but then he began to crash.  

My brother-in-law volunteered to take him back to the hotel so I could stay and visit with all our guests.  But when we all got back to the room that night, Ray was shaking, wearing all his clothes, wrapped in blankets and moaning.  That was our night all night Saturday night and early into Sunday morning.  As we tried to get out of bed that morning, Ray finally said, he needed to go to the hospital.  The antibiotics had not helped, and he was obviously getting worse.  We gathered all our crew up and loaded up.  Ray just crawled in the passenger seat and closed his eyes.  Ruth drove Ray in his truck and I drove the family car with the locked up brakes.  I figured if something bad was going to happen in the car, I would rather be driving than her.  We caravanned back to Stillwater, and my car, was dragging the whole time.  Ruth said my brakes lights kept coming on and off the entire time we were driving.  Seemed like I was using twice as much gas, but I didn't care!! Cars are replaceable, Ray is not!! I began calling and asking our family and friends to pray.  Pray for Ray, and for whoever was going to be on the receiving end at the hospital.  We needed the Lord to show the Dr. where this infection was coming from, and not get distracted by alot of rabbit trails.  

2 miles from the Stillwater exit, the "check engine soon" light started FLASHING at me.  Ray always told me that if the light comes on it isn't an emergency, it is just good to get it checked out soon.  If the light starts flashing, pull over immediately!!!  Well, I HAD to get my husband to the hospital, so I just cried out to the Lord, literally,  to keep my car going, and carry it to the hospital.  I scared the kids to death, who were resting from the weekend!! All of a sudden, the light went off, and I kept the cruise control on, heading straight for the hospital.  I kept praying out-loud until we made it, for the Lord to carry our car there and not let it explode!!

When we pulled into the hospital, Dr. Mark Mueller was the Dr. in the ER that day.  He is a friend of Ray's, a Godly man, a fellow Kanakuk Kamp Dr., and his wife was my Bible Study leader last year.  Mark began the process of figuring out what was going on, and after blood work, some tests, ultra-sounds, and observation, he said he was still baffled.  Ray and I kept praying for wisdom, and Mark came back in the room and asked if Ray had been bitten by a tick.  Ray said no, but I said Yes!! reminding him that he had me pull one off of him about a week and a half ago.  Ray had forgotten since we get tick bites all the time in our family and think nothing of it!!  The dots started connecting and Mark said he thought Ray had a tick born illness but it would take days to find out from the tick panel.  Because of the severity of Ray's condition, they put Ray in the ICU until they felt like they had a handle on his situation.  His blood counts for white and platelets were extremely low, and his liver enzymes were rising by the minute, and with a temp of 103.6 and rising with medication onboard, they were very concerned.  

We were a little in shock that he was that sick, but so thankful God had shown Dr. Mueller to ask that specific question.  We have since read that people die from this (Ehrlichiosis) because it is not diagnosed early enough.  Praise God for His wisdom that he gave Dr. Mueller!

That first night in ICU was miserable, as they were not able to give Ray relief from the fever, so he was uncomfortable all night, as well as they wake you up to check on you every hour in the ICU anyway.  I stayed with Ray in the chair next to the bed, trying to doze off every once in awhile.  I guess, because of all the stress from the wedding planning, travel, and Ray's sickness, I got a migraine.  I asked one of Ray's Dr. friends and partners to bring some strong migraine medicine to me that night, and I took it, but it didn't seem to touch it.  By 5 am the next morning, I started throwing up, a result of the migraine.  One of Ray's partners came in to check on him, and I'm right there in the room, ICU toilets are in the room, not separate, throwing up violently.  He got me some nausea medicine, but after 2 doses, it didn't even touch it.  By the time the Dr. came around to check on Ray, I was so weak, dehydrated, and exhausted from throwing up for 6 hours, I could hardly even look up and listen to what he was discussing about Ray's condition.  Ray started trying to lean over out of his bed, with wires connected all over him, to try and take care of me!! Ridiculous!!  Finally, I gave up, and Ray's brother took me across the street to get a shot to help with the migraine and throwing up.  I returned 4 hours later a new woman!!  

In the mean time, while Ray was still in the ICU, we got a phone call from our vet concerning our dog that had been hit over the wedding weekend, since we had not taken car of the dog on Sunday when we got back into town.  Obviously, that had moved down on the priority list, since Ray was about to die and had to go into the ICU.  Once Ray answered and explained we were in the hospital, he assured us he would keep him comfortable until we could tend to him!! Thank goodness.

They moved Ray to a regular room, and after 2 more days in the hospital, the tick panel came back, and it was confirmed, Ehrlichiosis.  They let us go home, but with a pic line connected to Ray, so they could continue to give him IV antibiotics.  We were sent home to rest for the rest of the week.
Below is a picture of Ray resting the evening we got home from the hospital....

While we were in the hospital, some of our friends, who were also our Klife directors in Stillwater, stayed with our kids and tried to keep things going while we were unable to.  They dropped off our car at the shop, thinking I had probably completely burned up the brakes on that 4 hour trek home from Texas.  Can you believe, they looked the entire car over and said they could not find one thing wrong with it!!?? I promise you there was!!! Ray thinks God may have healed my car when I cried out those last 10 miles to the hospital!!!

The dog was not so lucky, as when we finally got over to see about him later on in the week, we had to put him down.  He is now buried in our back yard.  The whole family was sad, but in light of what their Daddy had just endured, and the fact that HE was alive, it kinda gave us better perspective on losing our dog.  He will be missed though.  

Wow, what a wedding weekend!! After it was all over, and we felt like Ray was at least out of the woods, and on his way to healing, and after the dog was buried in the back yard, the flood gates opened up and I cried.  It all came out, and I realized my son had gotten married!! What?!  I barely remembered because of all that had happened since.  Thank goodness people took pictures! Thank the Lord He is faithful, my son is married, my husband is alive, and we are home. Glory be to God.

We are 2 weeks out from the wedding and the ICU weekend at the time I am writing this.  Ray is healing, it is slow but steady.  His energy levels are lower than normal, and he poops our real quick.  He is finished with the antibiotics and is just mending now.  One of our friends from Kamp who had this same thing, said it took 6 months before he felt like himself again.  So we will see, sounds like a marathon and not a sprint, kinda like life in general.  We are grateful for today. Those that have prayed, thank you. 

Gratefully yours,
JJ

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

As a little girl, I remember my grandfather, my dad's father, Pete Janszen (Gramps) saying this and other phrases in German.  I felt very special to have this heritage, and loved having Gramps say all kinds of things, especially a little nursery rhyme in German.  I have loved my German heritage.  Little did I know, God was planning all along to bring a precious German girl into our lives many years later.

Last year, on the first day of school, Esther, our middle daughter, came home telling us about a cute foreign exchange student who was in her Alg. 2 class.

She said she was so pretty and she LOVED the way she talked, in broken, German accented English.  Day after day, Esther would come home and speak more of Stella.  She envited her over to go to the movies with our family, the second week she was here.  I am not sure if she could understand much, it was the remake of Ben Hur, but we had a great time together.  Esther, continued to reach out to Stella, and invited her to come to our home every Monday morning, to a Klife small group Bible study before school.

About the same time, Stella tried out for the Cross Country team, and started running with Ruth.  Stella did not realize Esther and Ruth were sisters, since they look nothing alike!  Ruth felt called to start a XC Bible study, and Stella started coming to that also.

After a few weeks, she put together that these 2 were sisters!! She began coming to our home for some family dinners, and the girls were driving her to Klife Klub meetings as well.  God was definately weaving our lives together!!

Through the semester we were getting to know her, and as we got deeper, it became apparent that Stella did not know the Lord as her Savior, though she had been to church back in Germany, she did not have that personal trust in Him to save her.  But she was courious, and continued to come, ask questions, and was such a joy to be around.  One morning, I overheard someone crying at the girls Bible study in the other room.  Not wanting to be nosey, I stayed out of the room, but later asked Esther if all was ok.  She shared that stella was not happy in her host home, and was asking for prayer to know what to do.

My heart broke for this sweet girl, and I shared with Ray what I had learned.

He said he wanted me to pray about what we were to do concerning our role with Stella.

"What? What do you mean?! What role?  You mean keep having her over for Bible study and some family meals?"

"No, I mean does she need to come live with us?"

"You have got to be kidding me?!" I thought! I already have enough kids, I don't need another child, let alone another teenage girl! And where would she sleep, we already have 3 girls in one room, granted they are in the master, but still, another high school girl!!

I told him I would pray about it, but I wasn't going to tell a soul! I didn't want anyone getting any ideas.  (Now, I know this is so selfish, I know, but at the time, I couldn't see it any other way!)

Well, after 2 weeks of praying for Stella's sitution to improve at her host home, and yes praying for however God wanted us to play a role, Esther came home from school one day and said, "Mom, Stella asked me if she might could come live with us!!"

She told her she didn't know, it would be up to her parents, but I was floored.  I knew right then and there that obviously God was up to somehting and was already working, because He had layed it on Ray's heart 2 weeks early, and had me praying about it to prepare myself.

We had a family meeting, talked about the pros and cons and then Ray said, "Guys, what if God wanted to use our family to point Stella to Him, and we were too selfish to accept this plan?  Our lives are a blip, and the time stella is in the USA is a blip of a blip!!  We will regret if we do not open ourselves up, and our home.  Let us be willing!"  We ALL agreed, and knew he was right.  We began the paperwork the next week, and a week after that, December 15, stella came to live with the Ford Family.

The funny thing is, stella is an only child, from a divorced family, so to move into a home with 7 family members, 3 sister, 2 brothers, and parents, was more of a shock to her than her to us!!

She said she loved it, Stella is a very friendly outgoing person, who loves to talk with people and loves activity!! Well, she found it in our crazy home!

Right after she moved in, we had finals coming up, then Christmas break.  For some reason, I thought Stella would be returning to Germany for the holidays, but I quickly found out she would be with us!! Back to the store, Santa needed to come visit Stella as well!!  We also wanted to get her gifts, but the most important thing we wanted to give her was Jesus.  He really is it, the most amazing thing, so we gave her her very own Bible, she had been borrowing one for small group and XC Bible study.

Christmas took us to Texas again this year, to the ranch.  Stella didn't know what to expect, she said she had heard Texas wasn't that interesting, only dust and cowboys!! Well, she was partly right, but since the ranch in in the Brazos River valley and right on the edge of the Texas Hill Country, it is more than just dust, though we do have some cowboys.

Babe, my mom, and Stella's American grandmother for the time being, gave stella her very own cowgirl boots!!

Christmas day was wonderful, but emotional for Stella, I can only imagine being away from my family at 16 on Christmas day!!  But the sweetest part was when she got her Bible.  I thought she was just missing her family, but the tears fell as she read the note we had written in the front.  The next evening, the girls were up in the balcony coloring and visiting quietly.  All of a sudden, the girls came running to the edge hollaring! "Stella just became a Crhistian!!"  The girls came running down the stairs, with Stella saying, "I am saved, I am saved!!"  As we talked through the conversation they had just had, mainly between Stella and Esther, with Raylee (my neice) and Anna also a part, they shared the questions that Stella had been asking and the answers she was looking for.  Stella shared how she knew Jesus wanted something from her ever since she moved in with us, and after she got her Bible she knew even more, and now she realizes, it was HER He wanted.  He wanted to save HER, He wanted a relationship with HER,  Oh GLORY!! Hallelujah.  She is saved indeed!!!

Our family was humbled, excited, and grateful all at the same time.  Stella, who continued to live with us until the end of May, was, is a new creation for all eternity.  We are so grateful we did not let all our selfish petty reasons for not wanting Stella to come live with us, get in the way of the bigger plan God was working in all our lives.

From Christmas on, it was like Sunday school in our home.  Stella asked all of us, at different times, for the five and a half months, about scripure, about God, about what in means to live out your faith.  It was such a blessing for all of us, as we were forced to answer questions we maybe hadn't dealt with in years.  Who is the enemy? Why does he want to attack us? How does he attack? What will heaven be like? What does it mean to live out our faith in this or that sitution?

And probably my favorite, one evening, the girls and I, along with Stella, were talking aobut what Jesus did.  Stella kept saying, "I just don't understand why He would do that for me, I am so overwhelmed with thankfulness, I have no words!!! Can we just stop and praise Him right now for what He has done?" YES!! we all replied, and what a sweet time we all had together, just thanking Him in prayer for the sacrifice He made.  What a great reminder for all us girls, we just get so used to it, we casually say, "Yes, Jesus died for us and we are thankful." But how often are we really overwhelmed with gratefulness, that we have no words?! Not me, I almost always have words! But I want to be more like this.  So thankful, so overwhelmed for His love for me.

Stella brought this fresh reminder back to our family!! We love our German daughter, we are thankful God in His grace and mercy, brought her to our family, inspite of us!! He saved her, He lifted the veil off her eyes, He saved her, and we got to be close observers of this change.  Glory to His name.

As we sent her back home after the end of May, it was hard to let her go, knowing she doesn't have any community of believers back home, but God is faithful! He goes with her, He will provide, and His Holy Spirit can give her understanding as she continues to study His word.  And, we knew we were not saying goodbye forever.  She is planning to come visit next summer, and go to Kanakuk with us, and we have the assurance that we have eternity with her.  God is so good.

Auf Wiedersehen,

JJ

I Wanna be "THAT MARY"

Most of you that know me, know I am a Martha! For sure!! Love, Love, Love being in the kitchen.....food is my love language.  Anyone sad, how about a cookie? Bad day at work, Bluebell vanilla milk shake, want to put your feet up? Chips and salsa comin' right up! No question, even though I like people, and do enjoy a good sit down and visit, I love being in the kitchen and hearing the laughter of friends and family in the other room enjoying some fellowship with a treat I have prepared for them. But, God has been showing me something........

First of all, let me back up, this past fall BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) was planning on studying the Book of John.  Ok, confession,...... I don't like the book of John! Yikes! I said it! I feel bad, but it is the truth.  What am I going to say to John when I meet him one day in heaven?  It's just sooooo wordy and flowery. "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God,........" My goodness John, just say Jesus was there in the beginning!!! Just drives me nuts, I mean, I was a PE/Art major, I don't really like wordiness, just spit it out! I am more of a Matthew/Peter kind of girl!!

Well, anyway, because I loved the women in my BSF group, and I am desperate for friends, still new in Stillwater, I decided to gut it up and go!! Maybe God wanted me to give John another chance.  Ok, so after I got through the first chapter, I have to say, it grew on me.  John really is a good book! Ha! I know some of you are horrified with my confession here, I mean come on!! It's THE book we send new believers to to START reading the Bible! Anyway, I have and am continuing to appreciate more and more what I am learning and studying through John.  But one of my favorite nuggets is about Mary.

In Chapter 11 verse 2, it says, "It was That Mary," as he begins to tell us the story of Lazarus. "That Mary"  It made me stop in my tracks. It was that Mary who anointed Jesus with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair.  He wanted us to know that this was a special Mary, not the one that just sat as His feet.  Not just another of the many Mary's of that time, popular name! It was THAT Mary.  The one that loved Jesus so adauciously that she sacrificed a bottle of fragrant oil, very costly, and annointed His feet, then wiped them with her hair.  The whole room was filled with the beautiful smells of her sacrifice unto the Lord.  Everyone in the room was aware of her shamless love for Him. I want to be THAT Mary, or rather THAT JJ.  I want to sacrifice all, I want my love for my Saviour, to fill every area I go.  Not so that people with think great of me, but will think, what in the world is so special about this Jesus that He invokes such devotion, sacrifice, and adoration?  He must be awesome or she must be crazy!  I am sure there will be those that will think I am crazy, stupid, or foolish, consider what Judas said about her.  But all that matters is what He thinks.  I want to be THAT JJ.

I am not there yet, but I want to work, daily, towards loving Him with such abandantment that I forget about myself.

And just think, I would have missed this had I not given the Gospel of John another chance.

God is good,
JJ

"It's easier to watch, because I know how this will end."

(This post is 2 years old, found it in my drafts, just never posted it. Jesse wasn't even in college yet, and Bryce Petty was still Baylor's quarterback. Not funny, but an encouraging reminder.)

"It's easier to watch, because I know how this will end," says Ray as he settles in to watch the recorded football game of Baylor vs. OU, the day after it was played.

Ray and Jesse had gone to check out a possible college football opportunity for Jesse next year, and missed the entire game of BU vs. OU on Saturday.  Jesse and Ray got ESPN updates the whole time though, so they knew the final score as the game ended in real time.

The next day, Ray settled in to watch the game, and started from the beginning.  Even though Baylor got 3 points on the board first, OU came back with a vengence, and before we knew it, had scored twice on Baylor, without hardly taking a breath.  If you didn't know it, it looked as if this was going to be a tough game for Baylor, and the momentum was moving in the Sooners' favor.  At this point, Ray looked over and said, "It's easier to watch this, knowing how it will end."
I just sat there and stared at him.  He looked over,
"What?"
"Did you hear what you just said?"
"What?"
"It's easier to watch, because you know how it will end?!"....."Ray, that will preach!"
He smiled, because, you see, we are going through some stuff in our little family, that seems right now, to have about knocked us out.  Ok, you may feel like I am over dramatizing, but honestly, we have felt as if we have been so knocked down, so defeated, so lost, that there is no possibility of victory or recovery.  We have felt like complete failures as parents, and failures in our faith that God can even do anything about it.  The enemy has got the momentum, has scored on us multiple times, and seems to be lining back up at our goal line, ready to punch it in again!

We have looked at these defeats as the FINAL outcome, and not as battles that must be fought in this greater war that we are in.
If we knew how it would end, it would be easier to watch.  YES! But we do know how it will end!! We do!! The great enemy of old, still fights to destroy our marriages, our families, and take our children for his own victory.  It may seem as if he has won, FEEL like he has won, and that there is no hope, or even reason to keep fighting, weilding that sword in prayer, because we see this so many times as the ENTIRE war.  But it is not.  It is only a battle, the first quarter, one of many that we will fight, in this greater war that is ulitmately already won.  These battles we are going through now, are worth fighting through, because though we feel like we may have lost somewhat, and given ground to the enemy, we have not lost, we are still fighting, still in this.

By God's grace, He had me listening to another book, right when this thing seemed to rear it's ugly head, He is Faithful by Carol Cymbola.  I highly recommend if you are needing some encouragement that God is faithful through ALL that we go through, whether it is self emposed, or nothing of our own doing.  Of course, it goes along with my favorite verse, my life verse, which is found in Lamentations 3:22-23 "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness."

Every morning, isn't that awesome, we get to hit the reset button every 24 hours.  All I know is that I feel down 14-3 in the game, but I have to realize, we are only in the first quarter, and I have seen the end, so even though, it may not make it as easy as watchin' our Bears get whooped up on for the first 15 min, as it is watching my kids get whooped up on by the enemy, I can say, knowing how this thing will end, Jesus gets final victory in their lives, in my life, and this world, it makes these daily battles easier to watch, and yes, also encourages me to keep the shoulder pads on, keep running out there on that field, keep weilding that sword in prayer, because Bryce Petty is bound to get that ball and throw for a first! And then baby, watch out!! The momentum will start rolling, and we are off and running to kick the enemies rear!
Hallelujah,
JJ

(P.S. - Since I am posting this almost 2 years later, I can honestly say God did win the victory in these areas we felt were soooo difficult and impossible!! But with God ALL things are possible!)

The Poor Life of the Baby of 5 children.

(Found this post back in my drafts and never posted it. So it is a year late, but worth a little laugh!!)


You know you are the last 2 of 5 children, when you go to meet the teacher night without your parents!! This is exactly what Joshua and Anna did this year.  We had just moved to Stillwater, so no one knew us, had no idea that we actually DO care about our kids, and don't just let them roam the town on their bikes by themselves! But, this is exactly what it looked like to thier teachers.
The kids had asked if we could ride bikes with our neighbors to meet the teacher night, and I had said it all depended on when Ray and I got back to the house.  We had run a quick errand, and were going to return to the house in a few minutes.  Ruth was there at the house, but really didn' tknow what we were doing with the kids after we got back.  When we got home, we asked Ruth where the kids were, it was time to head to the school, and she said they had left with our neighbors!!

I ran back out to the car screaming to Ray, "Hurry, get to the school!! The kids went with the neighbors, and are at meet the teacher night without us!!"

We spead to the school, and ran to their classrooms as quickly as we could.  We found Anna first, who had picked up all her papers, met her teacher, and said she had told the teacher she wasn't sure if we were coming tonight!! " How embarrasing!! Not wanting to set her straight, and give an appearance of an abusive parent, since I already looked like a negligent parent to her teacher now anyway, I tried to explain that they had left with our neighbors and had been confused.  Her teacher just kept saying, "Well, Anna just wasn't sure if you were coming tonight or not!!" I was so embarrassed, I got nervous, and started talking WAY to much, trying to sound like a good parent, but sounding like an idiot instead, and really making Anna's teacher wary of us.  Oh well, so much for first impressions!!
Joshua's teacher and scenerio was almost an exact repeat.  So imbarrassed, I grabbed the kids hands, smiled as I left the building, then read them the right act outside, all while smiling, incase the teachers were watching.
Don't think we are going to win parent of the year in Stillwater this year!!