It was a huge change, and honestly.......some parts of it were AWESOME!!
Except for a few rare occasions over the past 11 years, I have not been at home by myself, without someone there with me. I can honestly say, being at home in peace and quiet, was amazing!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, they are the best, and I really don't know how or why the Lord chose to give them to me...... but being in MY house, in QUIET was a true gift this year.
So many asked, "Well, what are you going to do with ALL that time?" I wanted to scream, "NOTHING!!"
But, actually, God already had it planned out what I was going to do, I just didn't know yet. I started the school year off, only having to leave the house on
Mondays, for grocery shopping,
Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I taught Art at the school, where the 4 younger kids were attending, to help pay for tuition, and
Fridays, where I worked at Ray's office.
So actually, I didn't have a huge amount of free time, but still, mostly Mondays and all day Wednesdays were great!
Those were MY days!!
My favorite day was Wednesday. That was laundry day, and since the kids were all out of the house most of the week, I took back over the laundry, (when they were home schooled, of course they did their own.) So, I started out Wednesday morning washing loads, and after getting the kids dropped off, I would return home to 14 loads of laundry. I would sneak and plug the rabbit ears into the TV, and enjoy a few hours of "Good Morning America" and Kathie Lee!! (you see, we haven't had TV in about 7 years, so to plug in rabbit ears and watch a TV show was a little pleasure I thought I DESERVED)
Well, I tried this for a few weeks, and boy, did the Lord show me pretty quickly what a waste of time that was!!! Not that watching TV is awful (we rent plenty of movies and watch as a family all the time), but as far as why God had given me this time, this year.......that was not why he gave it to me, to re-a-quaint myself with Kathie Lee Gifford!! He had more serious work for me to do.
So...... I put up the rabbit ears, and poured myself into praying for those little feet that wore the socks I was folding, or for the patients that Ray would be taking care of when he wore the scrubs I had just placed so carefully in his closet. The Lord had given me this time, not to indulge in my own selfish desires, but to pour so much more into Him, into my family, and my husband. I started burning up the downloads of sermons from Tommy Nelson and Mark Driscoll. I truly felt now, more than ever, that this time was a huge gift from the Lord, and for the first time in my life, I actually LOVED doing the laundry. :) Now that is a miracle...it used to be the bain of my existence!!
As the year progressed, I got very comfortable and selfish with this time, so again, since sin crept back into it, the Lord had to strip me, and work on that selfishness!!! Due to some changes in our office, Ray's back surgery, the ever looming "Obama Care", and being in a small community, we had to let one of our main employees go. Ray very matter-of-factly told me that I was the fill in..... and on WEDNESDAY mornings!!
NOOOOOOO!
I didn't want to give up that time, but was reminded by the Lord, that that time was a gift from HIM anyway, and that the Lord was once again changing my mission field. My husband needed me in a tangible way, and I was the perfect person to fill the gap, I was FREE labor, so that made it even better. And as one older lady in my church pointed out, and it hadn't even occurred to me, that I could fill that office with prayer while I worked. So when I am sitting at that front desk, not answering a phone, or checking a patient out, I pray. (Not out loud, of course!!)
So, for the second half of the school year, I was juggling, but still praying, still listening to sermons, filling my mind with things that count, constantly, any time I found myself not talking to someone else, I was in a constant conversation with the Lord, realizing I could keep that new found urgency up in prayer for my family, just not all in one long, nice, quiet, stretched out moment!
And boy, did our family go through some stuff this year, that demanded attention in prayer. That would have totally stressed me out, had I not been filling my mind with Him! All the kids out facing new challenges in public and private school!! Ray with his back surgery and the changes in his practice, me with, well hormones and just life working outside the home again after 16 years of staying home. God had a plan, and it was partly to stir up in me an urgency to cover, and I mean cover, my family in this battle we fight every day. But praise God, the battle is the Lord's and we do not war against flesh and blood.
Well, all I can say is Praise God we made it to the end of the school year, and we survived!! The kids are HOME, so good to have them back. They have taken over the laundry again, and that is nice. I am still up at the office 2 days a week, but no more Art for the summer, so we are getting a break from the crazy schedule. I am having to sneak back to the bedroom or car now to find a little peace and quiet, but continue in that constant conversation of prayer, as I must. Sometimes I am distracted by my own selfish desires and pity parties, and fall flat on my face. But God is so faithful even when I am not, and He woos me back to Himself.
So, for someone who doesn't like change, I thank God for the change this year. He had different plans, and I am thankful He gave them to me, they were a gift.
JJ
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